


No Homo but I Love Myself

by Canarianyellow



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Baking, Domestic Fluff, Earth C (Homestuck), Fluff, Gen, KIND OF I GUESS, One Shot, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:41:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25241815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canarianyellow/pseuds/Canarianyellow
Summary: Davepeta is left alone to their own devices for a day on Earth C.So they bake.
Relationships: ARquiusprite & Davepetasprite (Homestuck), Nepeta Leijon & Dave Strider
Comments: 7
Kudos: 31





	No Homo but I Love Myself

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nixthejuju](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nixthejuju/gifts).



> Davepeta one shot for Lars because they asked for motivation on their Hal fic and I always deliver :))) 
> 
> Honestly I had 1 really specific idea for this, but then I started writing and it turned into 4 pages of Davepeta just. baking. 
> 
> And that's on self-love.

AT: I am just saying, if you need me to come over then I will. 

AT: No questions asked, just say the word and I will be there immediately. 

AT: Because I can do that. 

AR:  Be there immediately, that is. 

TC:  B33< No bro dude i’m fine

TC:  B33< i don’t need to be babysat or anything i’m a big sprite 

TC:  B33< go do your thing, i’ll just hang around and do my own thing

TC: B33< shoot the shit or whatefur kids are calling it these days

TC:  B33< maybe i’ll fuck around and bake something

AT: Language. 

TC:  B33< i do what i want

AT: Fair enough. 

AT: Just don’t burn down your house. 

TC:  B33< I’ll try

AT: … 

AT: Not good enough, but I’ll accept that answer. 

AT: Regardless, I will come over when I’m finished with my other tasks. 

TC:  B33< Okay arq, whatever helps you sleep

AT:  I don’t need to sleep. 

TC:  B33< you know what I mean!

TC:  B33< whatefur, go have fun with John ;33

AT:  Put that winky face back where you found it. 

TC:  B33< no

AT:  … 

artificialTesticle [AT]  ceased pestering  timetableCatnap [TC] !

Davepeta laughed lightly at their screen, rolling their eyes at Arquius before haphazardly tossing the phone back onto the coffee table. He was a huge fretter, even if he tried to play it cool. They sighed and flopped their head back on the arm of the chair as they turned to stare at whatever the hell was still playing on the TV. 

It was hot outside; summer was in full swing on Earth C and Davepeta honestly kind of hated it. Dave didn’t like the heat, and Nepeta _definitely_ didn’t like the sun beating down on them all hours of the day. Shit was hot like the Dickens, and not in a good way. They weren’t exactly sure if it was _ever_ good to be hot like the Dickens. 

Moving on.

They shifted on the couch just slightly, wings tucked right up against their back shuffling against them as well. They hummed and pursed their lips, brows furrowing. The TV was on some stupid nature documentary about bears or something- who knows, they weren’t really paying attention. The stupid narrator voice was droning on, talking about something with bears and fish? They yawned, sitting up a bit more to rest their head on their hand. 

The clock in the hallway ticked away slowly, drifting away in the background. 

Okay, that’s it. They were officially bored. 

Wow that only took 5 minutes. 

They sat up completely and swung their feet off the couch. Okay, Davepeta, time to find something to actually do instead of just sitting here all day and waiting for Arquius to get done with his not-date. Maybe they could actually try to bake something. They hummed in thought as they floated towards the kitchen, large wings flapping uselessly. 

Did they even have anything to bake with? Hopefully. They did _not_ want to go to the store- that was a deal-breaker on the baking agenda. A recipe was probably a good idea too. They’re sure the recipe book Jane had gotten them was still around here… 

And yes it is, right there on the kitchen counter where they’d left it. Davepeta picked up the book, opening it to the first page. Okay, step one accomplished. Cookbook acquired. Now onto actually finding a recipe to use… 

They flipped through some pages, nose scrunching up in thought as they contemplated their choices. Cake was always a good option, but for a first try? Maybe that was being too ambitious. Cupcakes, maybe? They’re basically just tiny cakes, right? 

No, wait, there’s an actual recipe for mini cakes. Fuck, they looked good too. All nice and tiny and cute, and like 10 different colours. They could probably handle doing mini cakes… Okay, maybe not, but what’s life without a little risk? 

And if that risk was tiny little mini cakes, then so be it. 

They set the book down with the pages open to a mini strawberry sheet cake recipe. 

Strawberry was good- they liked strawberry. And they had some, right? Frozen strawberries were good enough, probably. They just have to… Roast them, what? Davepeta stares at the book with furrowed brows. That didn’t sound right, but whatever. Roasting the strawberries it is. 

Room temperature butter… They had butter, okay. They’ll just leave it out while they roast the strawberries for reasons still unknown to them. Salt, flour, milk, eggs… They had all of that, okay. Great, off to a good start. Cream cheese? No, definitely didn’t have that. 

Guess the cake just wasn’t gonna have frosting. That’s fine, they can improvise. Or just make Arquius get some when he comes over. They shrugged- we’ll figure that out later. Who needs a plan, anyways? Definitely not them. 

They pull the pan out and the bag of frozen strawberries and start roasting that shit. Slapping them in a pan and turning the heat on medium is roasting, right? Right. They can cook. Or at least Nepeta can kind of cook and Dave knows how to follow a recipe at least a little bit. 

Together, they make one disaster that can probably do this with minimal disaster. 

They move on to get the dry and wet ingredients all done while the strawberries roast- because that’s a thing the recipe tells them they can do. It says to only use the egg whites, but who even knows what the whites were? Everything but the yellow part? Who knows how you separate those. 

They just throw the whole egg in there, yolk and all. It won’t make that much of a difference, hopefully. Baking was about experimentation, after all. Can you truly call yourself a baker if you don’t improvise some shit? Jane said that at least. They glance at the book for the next steps, brows furrowed as they read all the measurements and ingredients. Milk, vanilla extract… beat the butter and sugar together? Yeah, okay. 

They jerked their head up when they heard a sizzle, followed by a loud _pop_. Shit, the strawberries. Grabbing the handle of the pan, they quickly swung it off the heat and frowned down at the slightly burnt strawberries. 

Well. 

Slightly burnt was still roasted, right? 

They shrugged and threw it into the blender with the sugar and salt. The blender had a puree mode, so they assumed that worked fine. So now the strawberries were puree-ing, the wet ingredients were done, and all that was left was to finish the dry ingredients. 

But now the measuring cups were all gross and wet. They could clean them, but that was the coward’s method. Everyone knew if you didn’t have enough measuring cups you just had to eyeball it. 

Which obviously meant dumping the rest of what remained of the flour into a bowl and hoping it was 1 ¼ cups. Sadly, that also meant having a puff of very fine flour waft right into their face. They coughed, blowing it away with a wave of their hand. Okay, not the brightest idea probably. They blinked, trying to vaguely see out of their shades as they were now thinly covered in white flour. Their nose scrunched as it tickled their nostrils. “Ah… Achoo!” They sneezed, sending more flour into the air and successfully ruffling their feathers. 

And great, now it was all over them. White thinly covered the floor and countertop along with their shirt and face. They blinked dumbly, wings outstretched. They pressed their lips together into a thin line, looking around at the mess. 

“Pff-” They attempted to restrain a laugh, but it easily slipped through as they smiled and practically giggled at the scene. They even snorted once as they took their shades off, reaching down to clean the flour away with the hem of their shirt. 

It was Dave’s shirt, actually, they thought suddenly. They’d borrowed it after they’d reached Earth C and never returned it. Dave never asked for it back, so they assumed he didn’t mind. It was slightly too big for them, but it was comfortable. They let out another small snort, shoulders still shaking as the giggles subsided. 

That had probably been one of Davepeta’s favourite parts of being themself- they were smaller than Dave. Their features were rounder than Dave’s, but still somehow sharper than Nepeta’s. There was such a difference, physically and mentally, compared to either Dave or Nepeta. Nothing was exactly the same as either person. They were a unique amalgamation of both, and yet had zero requirements to act like either of them. 

It was almost… freeing? They know Dave had a lot of hangups about being the “other Dave”. 

But there was no other Davepeta. 

Just them, no one else. 

They stared down at the shades, freshly clean now, and smiled lightly. Another laugh bubbled out of their chest, incredulous and full of something they couldn’t name. There was a warm feeling blooming in their chest as they slipped the shades back into place, shoulders relaxed and head lowered as they continued to grin at their own existence. They took a deep breath and began patting away the flour from their clothes. 

Okay, enough sappy shit. Time to get back to baking this sweet ass strawberry mini sheet cake. 

**Author's Note:**

> wow can't believe i accidentally turned a tiny drabble into 1.5k words.   
> them's just how it goes I guess.


End file.
